


The Pot Calling the Kettle Black and Other Draconian Actions

by OnceABlueMoon



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Dragons, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Comedy, Crack, Dragons, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Podfic Welcome, Vampires, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 07:17:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21267176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceABlueMoon/pseuds/OnceABlueMoon
Summary: In which Tsuna is a super-secret Dragon Kardashian and Enma doesn’t discover that untilafterhe’s agreed to be his Treasure.





	The Pot Calling the Kettle Black and Other Draconian Actions

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn
> 
> Written for the khr remix exchange 2019/2020 round 1: write an original fic

It was bright, sunny day, and Hayato and Tsuna were moving through the shadows of the alleys. The little sunlight that did fall down reflected off Tsuna’s scales. He bit his lip. He was already four- he  _ knew  _ nobody was supposed to see him outside. Not on his own, at least. His golden scales were a dead giveaway as to his heritage, and his heritage was grand indeed. 

Hayato sniffed the air. ‘’I think the candy store’s nearby, Juudaime.’’ 

Tsuna frowned and tried to do the same. ‘’I can’t smell anything!’’

‘’Well,’’ Hayato stuck his nose in the air imperiously, ‘’ _ I’m  _ five. And you don’t turn into a wolf once a month besides.’’ 

‘' _ You  _ can’t breathe fire!’' Tsuna said, crossing his arms. 

A gasp sounded from beyond the alley. Startled, Hayato and Tsuna’s heads both whipped up, staring at the person who had spotted them, even in the shade. 

There, on the sunny side of the street, was a boy around their age. His curls were gleaming red in the light, eyes the colour of the wine Tsuna’s granddragon often drank, with a strange, compass like symbol instead of a pupil. Hayato gripped Tsuna’s hand, trembling a little. 

The boy was human. 

Tsuna frowned. Why were they hiding from a  _ human  _ of all creatures? That was dumb. Any other creature could have created trouble- could have squealed and attracted attention that might expose Tsuna to the masses. His granddragon would  _ not  _ be happy if he had to rescue him again. But a human? Tsuna knew how to handle that. 

Letting Hayato’s hand go, he raised his claw, cleared his throat and said: ‘'Rawr! We are creatures of the night, fear us!’' 

The boy blinked. He stayed silent, but his cheeks turned the colour of cherry tomatoes. 

Tsuna opened his mouth to show his sharp teeth. ‘'Sharp teeth, see? I’ll gobble you up if you don’t watch out!’' 

It was slightly awkward now, but Tsuna was  _ dedicated to this,  _ so he stalked forward and rawred once more in the boy's face. The boy stared at him, but instead of fear, there was a dazed look in his eyes. Tsuna pouted. Maybe he should just nibble on the boy. See how quickly he changed his mind about fearing him then. 

Hayato hit Tsuna over the head. ‘'No, Tsuna, bad dragon! No eating human boys.’' 

Tsuna rubbed his poor head. ‘'So the girls are okay to eat?’' 

‘'No!’' Hayato huffed, crossing his arms. 

‘'That’s alright. Girls are yucky anyway. Plus,’' He leant closer to the red-haired boy, who was staring at them with big eyes, ‘'They’ve got cooties!’' 

The boy’s flush went even farther down his neck. ‘'I’m Enma. What’s your name?’' 

You know what? This Enma was pretty cute. He now belonged to Tsuna. ‘'My name is Tsuna, and you’re my treasure now!’' 

They dragged him along to the candy shop, and if Enma quietly asked himself: ‘'Is that dragon for a marriage proposal?’' 

Then it was nobody’s business that the top of Tsuna’s ears were burning bright red too. They didn’t let go of each other’s hand for the whole afternoon. 

* * *

There was no one in the entire world that Giotto adored more than Tsuna, except for perhaps his Treasure, but some days... Some days made him feel his 900 years. He’d never curse his darling daughter Nana, but he  _ would  _ loudly declare her husband a scoundrel and a wretch. That good-for-nothing lowlife wasn’t even here for his sons birthday!

Tsuna was six, and he was about to throw down with the entire world. 

‘'Juudaime, please quit it!’' 

‘'NO! I want my treasure!’' 

‘'Tsuna-chan, please calm down. Here, have a present!’' Giotto tried to push one of the pile towards him. Tsuna set it on fire. 

Ouch. That was definitely a family trait, and not from Iemitsu’s side from the family. 

‘'NO! I want Enma!’' 

‘'Sweetheart, I talked to the primary school but they told me they moved. I don’t have an address.’' 

His grandbaby was inconsolable. 

* * *

The world wasn’t ready for the rampage of such a young dragon. Tsuna’s body wasn’t made for it either. It often made him sick, unable to face the media. And so, the youngest child of the Royal Vongola family was hidden away. 

For Hayato’s part- he mostly suffered under it as he kept having to run interference between an angry dragon and the world. Thank god he wasn’t alone for the task. Tsuna’s clan- Hayato's clan, by extension- expanded. Cheery Yamamoto, who had travelled far on the wings of the wind. Grouchy Hibari, a far more conventional dragon than Tsuna would ever be. Tricky Mukuro and lovely Chrome, two heads on one body. Loud Lambo and open-hearted Ryohei. 

Hayato would have mourned their peace, their solitude, but he could not. Something in his blood had always howled for the moon, yearned for a change just as drastic as his own skin underneath the light of the night. Yearned for violence, movement, an explosion of change and passion. 

Their clan was that. It filled holes in him he had not realized were empty. Life went on. They got older. The world was beautiful. 

* * *

‘'Your  _ Treasure _ ?!’' Tsuna stared incredulously at Giotto through the two-way mirror he held in his hands. ‘'Granddragon, how did you even manage that?!’' 

Giotto waved him away, ‘'Nevermind that, please just retrieve my darling Treasure, I need it back!’' Looking down at the mirror consideringly, he frowned. ‘'You’re about what, hundred now? This could be your first errand!’' 

‘'I’ve ran plenty of errands, but even then, retrieving part of your Treasure kind of ups the ante!’' 

Giotto snorted. ‘'You’re an  _ adult _ now, Tuna-fishie! Of course I raised the stakes!’' 

Tsuna sighed. ‘'Fine, I’ll go get it! Where is it supposed to be?’' 

Giotto clapped in his hands. ‘'A shopping centre in Florence.’'

Dragging a hand over his face, Tsuna groaned. ‘'A shopping centre. Of course. With my clan trailing behind me. Whatever. Don’t expect it to remain whole, and I expect you to pay for the damages.’' 

‘'Anything for my Treasure!’' Giotto chirped. 

Tsuna turned the mirror over pointedly, leaving the surface black. 

Humming cheerfully, Giotto suddenly realized he’d never mentioned that the part of his Treasure that was missing was no item at all. Oh well, Tsuna would realize it was Cozart when he got face to face with him and those awfully dressed cousins of his. 

He’d live-tweet his reactions to the story once it got in. Maybe he’d even get a camera crew to capture his reaction even better. The people did want their reality TV, after all... Tsuna wouldn’t get too mad, right?

* * *

Tsuna had set about two steps into the shopping centre, following the scent of Giotto’s Treasure, when he saw Him. 

Red hair, broad shoulders, wine red eyes and a jaw so sharp it could’ve cut diamond. Tsuna didn’t know his name, didn’t know his nationality, but he sure did know that he Wanted That. His lizard brain was  _ screaming  _ at him that he simply had to have this guy. 

Walking towards the man, he ended up kneeling before him in the middle of the shopping centre, the light falling through the glass roof onto the man’s angelic face. "My love, the stars have guided me to your feet! Let me kiss them and I'll be yours forever!" 

In the background, Hayato spoke up, entirely done with his clan leader: "Knowing your name would also come in handy, but you know, the usual hazard when dealing with dragons." 

The man, looking down at Tsuna on his knees before him, turned as red as a tomato with blood he probably did not have, seeing the clear signs of vampiric descent. 

Tsuna fell silent, a sense of wonder dawning on him as his eyes widened. ‘'Wait- I... I know that blush!’' 

Standing up, he stares at the man, whose blush was creeping down his neck by now. Staring, staring, staring until his eyes were dry. Probably far too long, but time had ceased to exist to him, because it was true. His eyes did not deceive him. 

He burst out in tears, snatched the man into his arms, and cried: ‘'WEEEEEEEEEEH! ENMA-BEAR I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. WHY WERE YOU GONE?! I SEARCHED EVERYWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!’' 

* * *

Hayato blinked. Enma? The boy Tsuna had declared his Treasure at the tender age of four? He thought they’d lost him forever when he moved. Hell, whenever Hayato had thought back on their early years he’d been sure Enma must be dead by now, considering how fast humans aged. 

He couldn’t help but snort at the ‘I searched everywhere’ wail, though. ‘'Everywhere to a four-year-old. Which was the candy shop, the library and the kindergarten playground.’' 

Hibari growled at him, though he did not take his eyes off the scene before them. ‘'I’ll bite you to death if you keep interrupting the mating ritual, herbivore.’' 

‘'Awww! Hibari’s shipping again!’' 

Hibari swiped at Yamamoto with a claw for that remark, but did not disagree and  _ still did not take his eyes off Enma and Tsuna.  _ Hayato sighed. Oh well, at least  _ one  _ of his clan’s dragons acted like a proper dragon, approving of the Claiming of Treasure. As much as it pained Hayato to say this, Hibari truly was the normal one amongst them.

Now scanning the group of people behind Enma and Tsuna, Hayato cursed. A group of young adults, a coven of vampires from the looks of it, accompanied by a  _ very familiar redhead.  _

Stomping over, he laid into Cozart. ‘'So  _ you’re  _ the Treasure Giotto wanted us to fetch?! And why the hell do you  _ always  _ turn up in shopping centres?!’'

Cozart gasped, putting a hand on his heart. ''Don’t you have EYES, Hayato? I don’t know how Tsuna knows my great-nephew, but I can't help he and his coven are so badly dressed!’' He gestured at the coven behind him. ‘'This is what happens when one comes into contact with that the terrible Firebreath Daemon! I have no idea why Giotto associates with that man! It's contagious, that horrid fashion sense. I have to RESCUE my great-nephew, you get me? He and his coven need to be better dressed before it's too late! It might be infectious, but I’m treating it!’' 

Hayato pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘'That’s nice but we're here to retrieve you.''

Cozart huffed. ''Just because I forgot to leave a note before going on a two-week shopping spree doesn't mean that Giotto shouldn't try to UNDERSTAND MY DUTY!''

A tall, dark-haired girl shushed them with a fierce glare. ‘'Ramp the volume  _ down,  _ please. Enma really needs to get laid. If being accosted and sobbed all over is what it takes, then  _ so mote it be.’'  _

So Hibari had a counterpart in Enma’s coven, huh. Colour him stoked. 

* * *

Three months of dating, and now this. Enma’s life would certainly never get boring with Tsuna in it. 

‘'What do you  _ mean _ ‘my granddragon filmed our reunion and asked me if we were okay with televising it’?!’' 

‘'Um. You know Keeping Up With the Vongola’s?’' 

‘'Yeah, of course, who doesn’t?’'

‘'Well, Giotto’s my granddragon. He kept me out of the spotlight for years because of my bad health, but well. I recovered. He wants to include us on the show because we’re entertaining, apparently.’' 

Enma choked a little. ‘'You... You mean to say he wants us to be on a  _ reality TV show?!’'  _ Before Tsuna could speak up, Enma shook his head. ‘'Wow, this explains so much about you and your family.’' 

‘'Your great-uncle is Cozart! That’s the pot calling the kettle black!’' 

‘'I’ll have you know that is a  _ very  _ draconian action! And I'm a vampire!’' 

Because really, outside the Treasure situation Tsuna didn’t act like a proper dragon at all. He was a friendly drama dragon in drag, and Enma loved him just the way he was.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Draconic Weddings](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22006486) by [familymatters](https://archiveofourown.org/users/familymatters/pseuds/familymatters)


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